it is done.

December 6, 2007

Well, 7 hours from now I’ll be boarding an overnight bus to Madrid, and saying “hasta luego” to Sevilla.

We don’t say “adios”.  “Adios” is something permanent, inescapable.  You don’t say adios to your friends.  You say “hasta luego”.  Until later.  Or “hasta pronto”.  Until soon.  I’d much rather say “hasta pronto”, but I don’t know if a couple of years is considered soon.  All I know is that I’m coming back.  I’ve got to come back.  Spanish culture and lifestyle is far too appealing to desert it forever.

I really can’t believe it’s done.  But it is done.  And all my things are packed and sitting neatly by my bed.  I ate my last big lunch with the family, sat around for my last sobremesa, and ya esta.  But now I’m wrapping up the past 4 and 1/2 months in my head and trying to hold onto it.

 I started crying after lunch today.  I couldn’t help it.  I have a little bit of pre-travel anxiety creeping up on me, and when I told Manoli, she smiled and said “nerves are nothing!  they’re something just made up by humans!  think about your novio and your family and don’t worry about it.  All your things are packed away, you have your tickets, all you need to do is take your time and get on the bus, and relax”.

Naturally, by this point, I just lose it.  It would be easier not to cry if I just absolutely detested Spain, but obviously this is an impossibility.  And then, with Lucas, Pepe and Carmen in the living room, cracking jokes and making me remember some good times that I had with them, I just laugh through my tears, still losing it.  How do these people do this for 20 years?  How can they just open up their home and get attached to people and then say goodbye 4 or 5 months later?  I would be a nutcase.  But they do it and they’ll keep doing it.  Manoli has been so great.  She’s just so sweet and she makes me laugh with her crazy little ticks and she cooks the best meals!!  I can’t believe that I may be seeing her for the last time today.

Gah, alright, enough of that!

I’ve had my list checked off of all the “lasts” that I’ve done.  My last cafe con leche, my last stroll around the Cathedral, my last siesta (here in Spain, at least..I’m taking the siesta back with me!).  And now I’ve got to get my mind geared toward some “firsts” in America.  The first time I will make puchero, the first of many walks (instead of driving) to where I need to go, the first siesta, the first flamenco lesson (I’ve got to learn!).  It’s better to make those kinds of lists.  It makes leaving here not so difficult.

Nonetheless, I just want to get through the next 25 hours of travelling and be done with it.  I want to either be here or be in Friendswood…but I don’t know if I can handle the in-between.  There’s too much time to start missing Sevilla.

 Hasta luego, mi alma, mi Sevilla.  Te voy a echar de menos.

-paige

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